An Ointment, The King.

In honor of the further Lebron news, or rather, the one disgruntled fan who might have put the best possible spin on the news("Taking my talents down to South Beach" as euphemism for masturbation), I've come up with a list of other sports-related gesture enablers:

• Hoisting the Prince of Wales
  
• Breaking in the Golden Glove
  
• Time to whack the Golden tee
  
• Practicing the Ickey Shuffle, and...
  
• Get the milk ready, the victory lap is almost done.