Party A: What's your favorite curse word?
Party B: Why, that would have to "fuck."
Party C: I agree wholeheartedly with my colleague.
Party D (me): It's "cunt." I won't say it in mixed company, but it's "cunt."
Party E (female): What's all the hubbub over there?
Party A: Do you have a favorite curse word?
Party E: [thinks] "Shitbag?" I think I use that one the most.
Party D: It's still "cunt." Sorry, but it's the last one left. Unless you're Irish or a Brit, they've already used their allotment like its government whiskey rations.
This might not be the exact breakdown of the conversation, but it was close. I am not that witty sober.
And I will have you know I was wrong. Completely, utterly wrong.
I should have remembered this article from slate awhile back (http://www.slate.com/id/2213558/ for the browserly retarded) that expounded on the virtues of matriarchal incest as a slur in nearly every language. And the other day a friend of mine texted me about losing his glasses after talking to a female bartender about Booker's being 'crazy juice' (a new one to me as that's a term I reserve for other much more personal things, namely about other people). I responded "Did you check her snatch?" I had to hide this response from my female company — too vulgar, too ultimately base for the moment.
Which brings up the question: why do all the good ones revolve around the female genitalia? I mean, you call a guy a dickhead, a putz, limpdick or micropecker and he'll probably not give a shit. Won't even think he's being yelled at, unless you're yelling at the time. But throw out "You dirty fucking cunt" to anyone and they'll just about rip your eyes out. Unless they're a Brit or Irish, and then they'll laugh and buy you a pint. Unless you're yelling at them. Seems like a sexist bias in there somewhere.
